Since then...

Well, the idea of Chronic Pain treatment has been accepted, if not the actual prescribing of strong narcotics-it is easier, but many people still have problems. I read over my most recent(?)! post, and found it a bit self-serving, even self pitying. But, hey, what did I know at the time? I expected all groups to be caring, accepting, warm, fuzzy...you get the picture!

Well, I do have a doctor-whose office is kind of far away kind of far away. I might try to find someone closer-but it is a pain, but at least you can ask the question, first..."do you ever treat with opiates?" Yes, there were (and are) some who called themselves "Chronic Pain Specialists" but lean heavily on Physical therapy techniques-most of which can be performed, at a fraction of the cost, by licensed Physical Therapists at a fraction of the cost-with only a prescription or recommendation from the doctor. However, these doctors usually don't call everyone treated with opiates "addicts"-they just won't prescribe the medicines! My own doctor is very big on invasive methods, which don't mesh well with diabetes (which I have) and don't relieve pain for very long.

Well, I've pretty much given up on the idea of groups...So, I was thinking I'd give recommendations on how to get along in one, but I find that there's only one-find a place, like Yahoo, which hosts members-only groups, and start one yourself! I was often told that I should start one-but I don't relish taking the time to learn all the technical stuff, and, if you haven't yet noticed with this blog, am on the lazy side! No posts in about two years? Yes, I'm lazy.

Some Chronic Painers were hopeful when we got a new President, but it seems, on the drug and medication fronts, that it's "meet the new boss, the same as the old boss" (lucky it doesn't seem to be so on all fronts-but that's for another blog). So, as we slowly see states adopt medical marijuana laws, and doctors, completely blameless on other medical fronts, become more bold in their prescribing practice, we may see things start to change. Although I see a lot of medical Marijuana advocates are kind of dishonest (try and advocate a drug that keeps all the medicinal properties of marijuana-except get you high). Personally, I'd rather see, and work towards, getting marijuana legalized, along with all other drugs. But, I start to digress here. It's more of a political opinion-I'm a Libertarian-than a way of getting relief from pain.


So, all you CP'ers, I wish you relief-through opiates, other drugs, or physical therapy, or in combination-the choice should be yours (I know-in this lifetime "as if"). And, if your pain isn't too miserable or debilitating, those who choose to face it, bravely, without drugs. And, to those of you who are still forced to go without relief, I wish for you to stay strong, but keep trying. I blame no one for doing what I did, but jail is no fun, and Richard Paey's treatment withstanding, not a good place to have your pain treated. Things are a little better now, and may become more so, as the baby boomers grow older, but hopefullly, keep their political awareness and activism.

This is just a general update. Hopefully, I'll have more individual topic posts, in the near future.

Internet Suport Groups-Hypocrisy, dictatorship, and Learning Who you can Trust

"So, you were in jail. You can't be expected for us to approve"
"You're actions may have even made it more difficult for us. The DEA lumps us together you know"
"Maybe you belong on an addiction website. They help people like you, you know"

This intro would not be complete without the piece de resistance-from my first group, in fact. After I posted my experiences, another group member took it upon herself to warn me. I was banned, after my second post. I answered the leader, telling him, among other things, what I had been told. He brought it to the group, with the question, "Am I Hated", where he says How "some woman" had been "going around" saying how unpopular he was on the group(I cut and pasted one line, which was less than a sentence long, from the warning letter), and how, if he was hated that much, he would delete the group.(A thinly veiled threat to abandon a group of people, many of whom were shut-ins and had no knowledge of other groups.) The person who had warned me forwarded the text to me, feeling that I had a right to know what was being said about me behind my back. When she left, I joined under a different name, using a different email it was worse than I thought. He was saying that I "had been removed" that he didn't know why, and oh! how he was stroked! Things were said about me that I would never imagine about anyone else, and he could do no wrong! The things people would say to keep the status quo. A very small minority posted things like "well, shouldn't we be discussing the group, and what we get out of it, rather than if someone is hated or not" but those came far and in-between...most seemed happy to tear apart anyone who criticized their fearless leader.

Well, that was my introduction to Yahoo Groups, that concerned Chronic Pain…which would lead to my being re-banned (and reinstated) into the same group,which I now hardly bother with, and being given the red carpet treatment into another one, only to be banned within hours of announcing the suicide of a member.

No, I'm not the shrinking, submissive type. On a Usenet group, where I sort of ended up(I went there to answer a post by a doctor, which had been copied by Mr. "Am I Hated"s successor. No, I'm not universally liked there, and even make an appearance on a hate list, I feel more comfortable there than most other places-mostly advocacy groups like the community forum page of the Drug Policy Alliance.

So...is it best to hide your real experience? For some, maybe. But, I find it hard to be dishonest about any group's stated purpose, with which I have experience, Plus, it may be of help to those who do have similar experiences-and, are fearful. Or, even if they're not ready to go public, they'll know that they are not the only ones.

I've considered starting a moderated group-but then, would I as Bob Dylan said in My Back Pages, "become my enemy, in the instant that I preach"? Banning those who spam a group, continually, I have no trouble with...but I have found, some people can be helpful one moment, annoying the next. and then, pain aggravates things. It can be a real ego blow to be banned from a group. Would I want to feel responsible for someone's depression? or even, suicide? Pain is a difficult thing to live with...rejection can all-too-often be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

But then, it's not easy to watch people get bullied, abused, and possibly separated from someone who can help them. So-at least for now-leadership is not for me.

I guess it's a good idea to educate pain patients-of all backgrounds, and who have used different ways, wise, foolish, and in-between, in attempts to relieve their pain. My jail time (and those of anyone else) is a definite lesson in how not be assured of getting pain relief...and, also a picture of true desperation, showing how hard it is to live with pain. Of course, that means not keeping silent

Like I have said, I am a radical. And, will bring up things that may make people question things they thought they knew about addiction, pain, and the not-so-thin line that separates them.

Richard Paey...A total Miscarrigae of Justice

This is an article I wrote a while back, for another site:

Richard Paey-Patient or Pusher?

Pain and its treatment was a recent subject on "60 Minutes". The main subject of this particular episode was d Richard Paey, who is serving 25 years in Florida for drug trafficking.

He had been living in New Jersey, and had Multiple sclerosis, plus, he had had a serious accident. He was coping, with medium-strength painkillers given to him by his doctor.

But legal problems began when he moved to Florida..some accounts say that it was, at least partly, for his health!!! He was unable to get the medications he needed. One doctor, knowing how closely the DEA watches pain specialists and their patients in Florida, told him, frankly "you're screwed".

What happened next isn't clear; he began presenting prescriptions from his doctor from New Jersey. He was put under surveillance; then arrested, for "drug trafficking-writing forged prescriptions, and distributing or selling them. His doctor, asked if he wrote the prescriptions, at first said "yes", which quickly became "no' when he found that he was being considered-as a co-defendant!

It's unlikely that Paey ever trafficked in drugs (he 's wheelchair-bound-and could only walk short distances, with leg braces, when he first moved to Florida), and it's even questionable if he participated in forgery! The scenario is bit murky, due to the flip-flop attitude of is doctor,which should make other doctors ashamed. Paey doesn't discuss it; most likely,he has been advised by his lawyer not to talk about it because, in case of an appeal, his defense may want to use it to the best possible advantage. Ironically, Paey was actually given stronger drugs, upon being imprisoned. Instead or the Percocet and Vicodin he had been taking, he now is using a morphine pump-courtesy of the Florida Department of Corrections! At least he's off the Tylenol combinations, that were no doubt, damaging his liver, and, is on the morphine he probably has been needing for a long time.But justice won't be served until he gets out of jail, and has the chance to become productive again-this time, with his pain managed properly.

When Jeb Bush, governor of Florida, found that his own daughter had phoned over an unauthorized Xanax prescription, he called it a "personal, family, problem". I don't know why he didn't commute Mr. Paey's conviction; he's been in jail for 5 or 6 years [note for current blog-Paey ws convicted in 2004, so, not quite so long], and he'd be better off paying his own bills (drugs included), and living a productive life.

This is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice I've seen, in recent years!!! Even if he committed all the crimes he was charged with, 25 years is much more than what most rapists serve, and even many murderers!

There have been several letter-writing campaigns, but so far, he remains in a Florida jail.

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I write this now, because Mr. Paey's case is being considered for clemency...for what may be the last time. Yes, his crime is similar to mine...if it was, in fact, a crime. He claimed, in an article published by the Pain Relief Network, that his New Jersey doctor, in fact, had given him some undated scripts, for use until he could find a new doctor. A decision is expected tomorrow, and new information should be available on the case, as it develops, on the site mentioned above, which is now added to the 'Helpful Links" part of this blog.

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Update!

Paey freed!

Details to follow-just found out from an impeccable source, who, unfortunately, did not poat a direct link!